If you live in a couple, if you live in a family, if you live with another person or several persons, you may ask them to be careful. You may ask them to be aware of the seeds you have in your store consciousness. “Darling, I know that I have these negative seeds in me. And every time these seeds manifest, I make myself suffer and I make you suffer, also. So, please, if you love me, if you care for me, be careful not to water these seeds in me.” Among lovers, there should be such an agreement. That is the practice. “Darling, if you really love me, water the positive seeds in me, because I do have the seeds of understanding, of compassion, of forgiveness, of joy in me. Even if they are still small, if you know how to touch them in me every day, I become a much happier person and when I am happy, you don’t have to suffer as much.”
If you really understand what your store consciousness is, you understand yourself. If you understand the person you love with her weaknesses and her strengths, you would know what we call the practice of selective watering of seeds. Refrain from watering the negative seeds in him. Try your best to identify and to water the positive seeds in him every day, and you will see the situation will improve in just one week. The degree of happiness will increase very quickly, especially when you are supported by brothers and sisters within the practice to show you the way.
– From a Dharma talk by Thich Nhat Hahn